CURRENT BOOKS BY TONY BANKS

My name is Tony Banks. I have been a freelance writer for years. I have had some minor success in the publishing world as I’ve had some books published along with having been published in various poetry anthologies and other publications. Tired of dealing with constant rejections and other “issues” with publishers (lack of payment, slow-to-no responses to my queries, etc.), I decided to “publish” my work myself. However, as with everything else I do in my life, I wanted to do something a bit different (and, of course, cheaper). That’s when I came up with the idea of sending my books via e-mail attachments, which I feel is the easiest--and cheapest--way of “publishing” my work. That way readers can click on said attachment where they can either view or download my book (or books). You don’t get the bells & whistles of having book covers--which, of course, can add to the overall cost of a book--but you still get the book itself and, in the end, isn’t that what matters most?

Each book, unless otherwise noted, is $1.00. Check out ordering information below.

THE ANARCHISTS CONVENTION: THE BOOK FOR THE NON-CONFORMIST: This book is a collection of essays on subjects such as politics, media, pop culture and various other topics. This book is currently published by Xlibris and can be found on their Website at http://www.xlibris.com/ where you can also find more info on the book.

AMERICAN ASSHOLES: This book contains listings of many of the Americans whom I feel are the biggest Assholes in the country today. Next to each listing is a frank description of why I feel that particular American is such an Asshole. Among the American Assholes listed are Political Assholes, Media Assholes, Rock Genius Assholes (a term which describes these so-called rock stars who, among MANY other things, feel that they can "change" the world through a song) and various other Celebrity Assholes.

THE HOLLYWOOD NUDIE HANDBOOK a.k.a. HOW TO COLLECT NUDE PICTURES OF CELEBRITIES & STILL RESPECT YOURSELF IN THE MORNING: A Wise Man once said, "Sex Sells!" And sex does definitely sell in the good old U.S. of A. even though this idea does definitely have its detractors (feminists, fundamentalists and other fascists as the late great Bill Hicks might have put it). This book takes a rather satirical look at sex in the movies along with other forms of (so-called) popular culture (that is, if you haven't figured THAT out already!). As another Wise Man once said, "Write what you know!" And this is most definitely a topic I know quite a bit about (as, of course, you'll see from reading the book!)!

CELEBRITY PERVERSION: Aspiring filmmaker Harry Patterson wants desperately to make his mark on Hollywood but has trouble at first finding his niche as he starts out directing mostly B-movie horror flicks and erotic thrillers. Then, just when his filmmaking career is about to hit an impasse, he receives a video which turns out to be a homemade sex tape of Hollywood's "it" couple of the moment. He releases the tape, which, of course, becomes a huge bestseller for the failing movie company of which he bought from the previous owner and his former boss. Due to the major success of that film, Harry adopts the directing moniker of Joe Bob Blow and goes on to direct a slew of equally-successful celebrity sex films starring has-been celebrities who are desperately hoping to expand their 15 minutes of fame. And Harry soon discovers the downside and various pitfalls of this rather shady business. (NOTE: This book was previously published by Pink Flamingo Publications under the pen name of Angel Ray.)

WHEN LOVERS MEET: Freelance bouncer Dalton Ewing is a mysterious man with mysterious secrets. And former lawyer Vanessa Callo is determined to find out just what those "secrets" are. Vanessa and Dalton begin a passionate affair after he rescues her one night from a gang of drunken thugs outside of a bar where he's currently working as a bouncer called Lucky's. As their romance blossoms, Dalton shares with Vanessa not only his bed but also the memories and secrets of his painful past, a past which causes him not to get too close to anyone or to stay in one place for too long. Vanessa likewise lets down her guard and allows herself to be loved again after her own painful past involving her ex-husband Brett, who left her for another woman, and her estranged father Joseph, himself a powerful lawyer, who left her beloved mother Deborah after 40-plus years of marriage for a much younger woman. Vanessa is determined to show Dalton that he can allow someone in his heart (and not just his bed) without being emotionally devastated in the process.

X: A young woman named Kami travels from town to town and city to city in search of a new man (or woman) and new thrills. Then she winds up in a mysterious small town named Strap that is rumored to be a haven for S & M aficionados where she meets an older dominatrix who calls herself Mistress X. Mistress X takes Kami under her wing and teaches her new ways into seducing both men and women. After achieving what they set out to do in Strap, Kami and Mistress X travel to the neighboring town of Slunt, a town that has a far more conservative reputation than Strap, but, like with all small towns, harbors dark secrets and even darker passions. The two women set up shop in Slunt where Kami learns quite a bit from Mistress X as they seduce a number of men and women with their sexual mind games until Kami ends up teaching the older dominatrix a few tricks of her own. (NOTE: This book contains "adult" subject matter and is therefore intended for "mature" audiences.)

MR. INNOCENT: Lexi Gifford, who’s the editor-in-chief of a popular women’s magazine named Innocent, needs a new assistant and a new lover. She finds both in Theodore Logan who’s a rather naïve and virginal farm boy from Iowa. At first, Lexi is hesitant about getting involved with Theodore--who goes by Theo--because of her previous relationship with a live-in boyfriend named Johnni who had modeled for her magazine. The relationship ended when she came home and found him in bed with another male model. Plus there’s the age difference as Lexi is thirty-two and Theo is eighteen. However, any hesitation on her part flies out the window when he winds up modeling for an upcoming issue of Innocent when the other model doesn’t show up for the shoot. Unable to resist seeing his hunky farm boy frame clad only in a pair of form-fitting bikini bottoms, she ravishes Theo in the rented studio after the photographer leaves. From there, their relationship blossoms both in and out of the bedroom. Eventually Lexi realizes that her feelings for Theo go beyond merely sexual and that she has genuine feelings for him.

AS GOOD AS SHE GETS: Richard was an ex-Marine who served in both Iraq and Afghanistan. He was discharged from the Marines after being wounded while serving in Afghanistan. Working as a bouncer at a seedy bar owned by the friend of his late father, both of whom Richard despised, Richard felt as if his life was going nowhere. That is, until he meets a woman at an upscale nightclub called Club Nova named Katie. Katie was unlike any woman Richard had ever met before. She was beautiful, successful and, above all, she was sexually aggressive. As their on-again, off-again sexual relationship progresses, which includes kinky hookups in his truck in the parking lot of Club Nova and in the men’s restroom stall in the bar where he works, Richard discovers that his feelings for Katie go beyond merely sexual.

THE QUICKIE MAN'S COOKBOOK & OTHER WAYS TO LIVE ON THE CHEAP: This cookbook is primarily aimed at guys--both single and married--who want to be able to fix a meal other than Ramen noodles and grilled cheese sandwiches. The recipes included in this cookbook are mostly "quickie" meals that practically anyone, regardless of their cooking abilities (or lack thereof), can prepare. The book also contains ways that people can live more cheaply and/or on the cheap and provides money-saving tips on things like food, clothing, entertainment and other everyday items.

PATIENT LIES: MEMOIRS OF A DESPERATE ROMANTICIST: A collection of poems of an inspirational and maybe not-so-inspirational nature.

ORDERING INFO:

Send a list of each book you’d like to order to my e-mail address at tbanarchy@hotmail.com. I accept payment via PayPal or by personal check. Once payment is received, I will send the book via e-mail attachment promptly (with instructions on how to open it, which more or less just consists of clicking on said attachment). If you do not wish to receive an e-mail attachment, I can send you the book on CD for the cost of $2.00 (to cover postage & handling) with instructions on how to download it (which, again, more or less consists of just clicking on the file).

One final note: Do not--I repeat--DO NOT request a “free” book because you will not--again, I repeat--WILL NOT receive one. I will send you a “sample” of a book that you are interested in ordering to see whether or not you want to go ahead and order it (again, via e-mail attachment), but, if you wish to read the entire book, then order it! Just like a carpenter or a ship builder require payment for their work, I likewise desire financial compensation for MY work. (I mean, you’re getting the book for the price of a candy bar at your local convenience store--plus the forty-something cents for the price of a stamp--so what in the world are YOU complaining about? Especially since the cost of an average e-book is about a couple of bucks anyway, plus, by sending payment by mail, you don‘t have to worry about online fraud/identity theft, you know?)